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Yep, the picture above is my little salvo to Fox, Mr. Friedberg, and Mr. Seltzer, who obviously think that spoof movies should contain no wit.

Epic Movie begins with The Da Vinci Code, where airhead Lucy (Jayma Mays, the cutie waitress in Heroes) is running through the Louvre, being chased by the albino who speaks some ethnic tongue that is of course translated with hip-hop flava.  By the end of it, she gets a golden ticket a la Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  Then Edward (Kal Penn) is stuck in Nacho Libre with some Jack Black impersonator.  By the end, he gets a golden ticket.  After that, it’s Susan (Faune A Chambers) getting the Snakes on a Plane treatment, with a Samuel L Jackson impersonator, golden ticket.  And then, Peter (Adam Campbell, who may need to reconsider a career after this and Date Movie), is stuck in the school of X-Men, where he isn’t very popular and wants to go out with blue shapeshifter Mystique (Carmen Electra, who else), golden ticket.

From there, it’s Charlie & The Chocolate Factory (Crispin Glover takes on Willy Wonka), and then on to Chronicles of Narnia (Jennifer Coolidge is “The White Bitch” and Fred Willard is the lion “Aslo”), where more characters have that hip-hop flava and more excuse to make fun of MTV shows like “Cribs” (with Nacho Libre’s own Hector Jimenez as the faun) and “Punk’d,” much like Date Movie did with “Pimp My Ride.”  Then, on to the hip-hop flava of Pirates of the Caribbean, where Darrell Hammond does his Jack Sparrow.  Mostly everything is set up to have more people get punched, or fall down, and absolutely waste opportunities to be a much funnier comedy.

The worst foul might have been Epic Movie’s (homage? rip-off?) Chappelle’s Show reference where the albino says something translated into “I’m Rick James, bitch!”  I wasn’t exactly sure what to do there.  Was I supposed to laugh because I had laughed at that joke before?  On a TV show that at its worst was better than this entire movie?

And once again, every once in awhile a joke will stick and there will be a laugh or two.  But it’s notable that in a movie with hundreds of jokes that only a couple are good, or at the very least, don’t seem tired.  If you liked Date Movie, then your mind is free to wallow in this trash.  As for me, well, I can only hope that no one goes to watch it.  Now, that would be hilarious.