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Sometimes a movie comes out with such overwhelming critical praise that it seems like, somehow, the appreciation of the film is fact rather than a matter of opinion. As I write this, critic compilation site Rotten Tomatoes has this at 99% approval, with the one dissenter riddled with comments, most likely telling him how much he sucks for daring to give such a movie of unparalleled art a bad review.

Guillermo Del Toro is one of those directors who have a good cult following; he’s regularly praised by Harry Knowles at Aint It Cool News (they’re friends, and look at Knowles’ fanboy stroking of Del Toro’s Blade II and then later, Hellboy), and his last indie, The Devil’s Backbone, landed with nearly the same kind of unanimous circle-jerking. I was nearly bored to tears by that film. Even Mimic, a fairly crappy paint-by-numbers sci-fi horror film, got an overwhelming thumbs-up from Siskel and Ebert.

In Pan’s Labyrinth, a girl named Ofelia (Ivana Banquero) travels with her pregnant mother (Ariadna Gil) to a fortification in the woods, where her cruel stepfather Capitan Vidal (Sergi Lopez) resides, and where he can be close to what he feels is the birth of his son. It’s Franco’s Spain in 1944, the country in a civil war, fighting guerrillas. Ofelia, not feeling connected to the family in any way, begins to invent a fairy tale world for herself, much like having an imaginary friend. In this fairy tale world, she is sent on a quest with the goal of becoming immortal.

The film’s fantasy sequences are all exciting, absolutely thrilling and directly in line with the slam-bang reviews this movie is getting. When the movie switches back to the real world, which is the main focus all-in-all, it has a bloody revenge story on its mind, but damn if it isn’t disappointing when it decides to go back, even though it has its moments.

After watching Pan’s Labyrinth, I am convinced Guillermo Del Toro made exactly the picture he aimed to film. But it completely fails to live up to its promise as an immersive fantasy picture, one that could have used less of the real world. Ofelia’s second tier of her quest, which is the centerpiece of the film, has the most suspense and crackles with intensity, and should have moved the picture into an unstoppable fantasy narrative. But it’s here where the fantasy stuff stops, and the real world sets in almost permanently, and the whole picture is dedicated to killing the capitan.

So yeah, I wanted this picture to be almost all make-believe, and if that makes me a lesser person, then by all means look down on me. I completely got this picture, understood what it was going for, and I thought it ended up lacking. I’m all for the real world triggering fantasies, but stay consistent. And I can even see this film as a sort of anti-Lord of the Rings, one that Peter Jackson might have made when he was just a cult director, a dark and disturbing answer to the mostly lighthearted epic, one that LOTR detractors would love because it contains sickening horror. If it had been just that, I’d be completely on board. For me, it didn’t go far enough. Sorry to all those who think this is the end-all of imaginative fantasy epics; I expect and demand more.